Marvel at the Beauty of the Scars . . .

Today a classmate sent me these words of encouragement relative to an assignment about re-establishing one's direction / goals / passions in life. I love the concepts of a broken life being repaired with gold and marveling at the beauty of one's scars. The words resonated not only with the emotional healing that is the focus of our coursework, but also with the physical healing I've encountered these past 5 1/2 years in my dance with cancer. I thought of the surgical scars on my body -- the ones I never look at, the ones I never touch, the ones I make every effort to ignore.

I'm Back in the Water Again!

When I set my alarm last night for five o'clock in the morning, 2-3 hours before I normally wake up, there wasn't a moment of hesitation. I had something wonderful to look forward to! Deep Water Conditioning at 6AM. 

A Southern California native, I've been swimming since I was a toddler. My first swim lessons were at the community plunge in Sierra Madre, where the cold water of the swimming pool was often the only relief from the sweltering summer heat and smog-choked air of the late-1950's. I can still recall my eyes burning, my throat constricting from the deadly combination of pool chlorine and smog.

CT Scan vs. MRI: Which is safer for those with cancer?

When I learned in January 2017 that my colon cancer had metastasized to my liver, my oncologist, Dr. G, suggested (in addition to 4 rounds of chemo, surgery, and up to 8 more rounds of chemo) a series of scans to monitor the status of my cancer. CT scans of my abdomen and lungs were immediately taken to determine the location of any tumor(s). One tumor was detected on my liver; no other tumors were seen.

Dr. G then referred me for a PET Scan. I'd never had a PET scan and knew nothing about the procedure or possible risks. I was still in a state of shock over my Stage IV-A metastatic diagnosis (and end-of-year death sentence if I did not submit to the chemo / surgery regimen). So, I compliantly agreed to the PET scan. There was a caveat, through. Badger Care (my insurance) would have to approve the scan. A week later I was told that Badger Care refused to pay for the scan because of its cost.

That's when I decided to do some research. What I discovered shocked and upset me!

Fighting Cancer in the Philippines

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This morning I received an e-mail from Mark, a colon cancer patient in the Philippines. His colon cancer is not going away, despite aggressive chemotherapy, surgery, and other procedures.  Just look at what this poor man has endured! Heartbreaking! He's worried, and asked for my advice. 

First, Mark's e-mail:

I was diagnosed with cancer last December 2015, Stage III-B. My CEA at that time was 8.7. I had surgery January 9, 2016. I underwent a very aggressive chemotheraphy twice a month intervals of every two weeks. I was given 5FU, Irenotican, Loucoverin, Oxaliplatin and a booster Avastin. I finished my session July 2016.

My CEA went down to 4.2. The result of my PET scan is very good as well. 

Beautiful Berries Green Tea Smoothie

Beautiful Berries Green Tea Smoothie ingredients.

One of the most prevalent side-effects of chemotherapy is loss of appetite. If you're overweight like I am and enjoy watching the pounds effortlessly melt away, loss of appetite can seem like a good thing. At the same time, not being able to eat foods that help you detox from the chemo and build your cancer-fighting immune system is disconcerting. 

The Beautiful Berries Green Tea Smoothie can fill you up and satisfy any cravings for something sweet! It's so filling and rich, it sometimes take me a couple of hours to finish it! The recipe includes three kinds of berries, a banana, and Medjool dates (for added sweetness) -- all chock-full of cancer-fighting, immune-system building antioxidants. The green tea helps you detox from the chemo while simultaneously restoring your faltering immune system. The Beautiful Berries Green Tea Smoothie is great for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

An Attitude of Gratitude

An Attitude of Gratitude may seem dichotomous with a diagnosis of cancer. Your life has been forever changed, and, depending of the location and stage of your cancer, the diagnosis may have included a death sentence of weeks, months, or a few years. You are overcome with thoughts and emotions you have never experienced before.

You may feel angry and victimized. "Why me?" you may ask. Your anger may be fueled by feelings of fear, panic, frustration, anxiety, or helplessness.

You may feel overwhelmed, powerless, and isolated. Your life feels out of control -- your daily routine is disrupted by doctor visits, procedures and treatments.

If your treatment includes chemo and / or radiation, there are myriad debilitating side-effects. The quality of your life may become so compromised you lose hope, become depressed, and decide life on these terms is not worth living.

XELODA (oral chemo) vs. FULFOX -- you DO have options for treatment!!!

I met yesterday with oncologist Dr. Y (1) to get a second opinion about my cancer treatment and (2) to determine if he would support me on my self-healing journey by allowing me to refuse the chemo and surgery while providing ongoing CEA marker blood tests and MRIs to keep an eye on the cancer.

The new doctor still talked the chemo and surgery talk, but he also agreed that if the tumor has disappeared, there is no reason for surgery. He also agreed we can monitor the tumor with an MRI, as opposed to the radiation-based CT-Scan. Since I had two CT scans in January, I don't want another one anytime soon. Plus, differences between normal and abnormal tissue is often clearer on an MRI image than with a CT scan, especially in the liver.

Breaking up is NOT so very hard to do . . .

Deciding to end my relationship with my oncologist was similar to ending a romantic relationship. I wanted out, knew I needed out, but I felt guilty about leaving. I really like Dr. G as a doctor and a person, but there are absolutely no options for naturopathic oncology at his clinic. I was provided with only one option: four rounds of chemo, liver resection surgery, and up to eight more rounds of chemo. Without this regimen, he emphasized, while looking deeply, seriously into my eyes, I would not survive to the end of the year.

I once asked Dr. G if he had ever experienced radical remission with one of his patients -- that the cancer disappeared without chemo or radiation or surgery. He said he had never seen that happen. Never. I did not believe him.

Later that day, while in the chemo cocktail lounge, I asked my nurse the same question. She said she has seen it happen. She knew of patients who tumors completely disappeared. I was very much encouraged.

and something ignited in my soul

In her NY Times best-selling book Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds, Kelly A. Turner, Ph.D., discusses nine key factors that consistently showed up in the more than one hundred personal interviews and thousand-plus written cases she analyzed of people who had healed their cancer through integrative oncology. One of these nine factors is Having Strong Reasons for Living.

When I received the news on November 31st, just five days after my 60th birthday, that my CEA score had risen to 217 (normal is less than or equal to 3 nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL)), I was not surprised. The previous 18 months had been beyond hellacious. I had become so depressed from the unrelenting stress from seemingly unending trials that I had completely lost my will to live. At one point I screamed angrily at God to bring the cancer back and to just let me die. And I meant it.

Q&A with My Cancer Coach: Chemo Side-Effects: Nausea and Lack of Appetite

Jane M. Guyette, Transformational Nutrition Coach

I had my 3rd round of chemo February 22nd-24th. As chemo side-effects are cumulative (meaning they get worse over time rather than better), it's no wonder this round was more difficult than the first two. I've been concerned about my nausea and lack of appetite, feeling I'm not getting the nutrients I need to detoxify from the chemo and eradicate the tumor that's metastasized to my liver. About a month before the chemo started, I'd already drastically changed my diet, including morning juicing and eating a lot of fruit and vegetables. Since the chemo started, it's been very difficult to keep up with these healthy cancer-fighting habits. So I reached out today to my cancer coach, Jane Guyette, and she gave me some very worthwhile and comforting advise. 

Whether you're going through chemo treatments yourself or caretaking someone who is, you might also benefit from what Jane and I discussed. My questions are in italics and precede Jane's answers, indented for ease in reading.

Carcinoembryonic Antigen (CEA) Marker

I'm so emotional right now I can hardly write. After spending the past hour handwriting my Morning Pages on how my gut is telling me the chemo is not right for me, and that I feel I'm at a crossroads -- that I need to choose between Western Medicine and holistic medicine to resolve this cancer -- I found an e-mail message that score from Wednesday's CEA test was available to be viewed. I quickly logged into my patient account and opened the test results with hope and trepidation. What I read was so beyond my hopes and prayers that I burst into uncontrollable tears.

Not doing so well today . . . lots of side effects from Chemo Round 3.

Keeping bundled up even inside to help
alleviate the side-effects of this week's chemo.

I completed Round 3 of chemo yesterday, and the portable pack was removed at 1:30 p.m. Things weren't too bad yesterday, but today I'm feeling a number of symptoms. I think it's a combination of the weather changing from spring-like in the 50's and 60's for the past several days, to the arrival yesterday of a winter storm that dumped about 6" of snow and plummeted temps into the low 20's. Many of my side-effects are exacerbated by cold weather, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

Here's what's plaguing me this round of chemo:

First-bite syndrome: This is the worst side-effect. The pain, lasting something like 15-30 seconds, is excruciating. And if you take your first bite on only one side of your mouth, you get to relive the pain on the other side on the next bite. So the trick is to take food in the middle of your mouth, bite down with the food in the middle of your teeth, and brace yourself for the ensuing waves of pain -- feels something like someone accessing your jaw with an electric drill. I've had root canals, tooth extractions, cavities filled. None of those experiences compare to the pain of first-bite syndrome.

A Protein-Packed Breakfast: Overnight Oatmeal

Before my January 5th cancer diagnosis I lived for my breakfast. Two extra-large organic eggs scrambled in organic butter or organic bacon fat and two strips of organic bacon, seasoned with sea salt or Pink Himalayan salt and rolled up in an organic flour tortilla. As a rare treat, I'd top the eggs and bacon with shredded organic Cheddar cheese. Along with my tasty burrito, I'd enjoy a cup of organic coffee, lightened with organic almond milk. I believed that because everything was organic that I was eating a healthy breakfast.

All that came to a screeching halt with the metastasis to my liver diagnosis.

Natural Killer Cells

I discovered "Natural Killer Cells" quite by accident, and this, hands down, is one of the most exciting things I have learned about how to naturally destroy the cancer tumor embedded in my liver. Natural Killer Cells ("NK cells") are white blood cells, part of the body's first line of defense against cancer.

The science is way over my head, but the bottom line is this -- NK cells act like well-armed soldiers, fully equipped to recognize cellular intruders in a healthy body. Their job is to seek out and destroy viral infections and rogue cancer cells. Once identified, NK cells attach to the intruder, breach its cellular wall, and release a lethal package of chemicals that basically blow the cancer cell to smithereens! 

Broccoli Salad with Creamy Avocado Dressing

This salad is crunchy, filling, and just plain yum, yummy! Be sure to use only organic ingredients!

Salad Ingredients:

• 1 pound broccoli heads, cut into small pieces
• 1 small head red cabbage, cleaned and shredded*
• 1/2 pound unpeeled, grated rainbow carrots
• 1 box grape tomatoes or 1 pound red grapes, quartered
• 1/2 cup toasted seeds (pumpkin or sunflower)

Dressing Ingredients:

• 2 avocados, peeled, with pits removed
• 1/4 cup fresh-squeezed lemon juice
• 2 teaspoons pink Himalayan salt
• 1 Tablespoon garlic

In a glass bowl, mix together the salad ingredients. In a separate glass bowl, mix together the dressing ingredients; make sure the avocado is well smashed and creamy. Then add the dressing mixture to the salad mixture and toss. Refrigerator for a few hours before serving to let the flavors "bloom".

Store leftovers in refrigerator in a Mason jar for up to two days.

* How to Shred Cabbage

Fear of Death

I've been thinking about the fear that cancer invokes. Because once the diagnosis is in, once the cancer has been confirmed, once the Western medical community provides you with its diagnosis and statistics for survival, it is ultimately your decision how you will deal with your completely understandable and legitimate fears.

There is a lot to fear. Your life has just been turned upside down! Will you need surgery? Can you trust your doctor, or should you get a second opinion? Will your family and friends be able to "handle" the diagnosis? There are financial fears. There are logistical fears -- getting to and from doctor appointments, diagnostic tests, chemo sessions, and surgery. Are your "affairs" in order -- wills, trusts, bank accounts, and other assets? And the really BIG fear -- am I going to die?

About Me

So who is Melinda? The voice behind the Colon Cancer blog?

I'm happy you asked and I'll be glad to tell you.

I'm a 3rd generation California girl, born in Martinez in Northern California (like Green Bay Packer Richard Rodgers, whom I've met in person and have a terrible crush on), raised in Sierra Madre and then Diamond Bar in Southern California. The thing about growing up in Southern California in the 1960's and 1970's is that you honestly believed there was no where else in the world as desirable or as wonderful a place to live. And why not? The Beach Boys lauded us, the Mamas and Papas dreamed of us, and the Eagles recorded our decadence and named us the place "You can check out any time you like / But you can never leave!" Oh, how wonderful to be in California then!

Writing Through Cancer from Diagnosis to Recovery

So grateful the De Pere Community Center

has agreed to host this class.

If you're in the Green Bay, WI, are please join us!