An Attitude of Gratitude

An Attitude of Gratitude may seem dichotomous with a diagnosis of cancer. Your life has been forever changed, and, depending of the location and stage of your cancer, the diagnosis may have included a death sentence of weeks, months, or a few years. You are overcome with thoughts and emotions you have never experienced before.

You may feel angry and victimized. "Why me?" you may ask. Your anger may be fueled by feelings of fear, panic, frustration, anxiety, or helplessness.

You may feel overwhelmed, powerless, and isolated. Your life feels out of control -- your daily routine is disrupted by doctor visits, procedures and treatments.

If your treatment includes chemo and / or radiation, there are myriad debilitating side-effects. The quality of your life may become so compromised you lose hope, become depressed, and decide life on these terms is not worth living.

I know how devastating a cancer diagnosis can be! My first diagnosis was in November 2011, the day before my 55th birthday -- Stage III-A colon cancer. I had a grapefruit-sized tumor in my colon, near my rectum. Colorectal surgery removed 1/3rd of my colon and all the lymph nodes. In February 2014, I was given a diagnosis of "cancer free".

In September 2015, my CEA score (a colon cancer marker that shows up in the blood) had raised from the normal <2.5 ng/ml to 17 ng/ml. A CT scan was performed and no tumors were present. I should have continued to monitor my CEA marker, but in 2016 the deductible for my Obama Care rose to $6,000. I could not afford the blood tests, and I certainly could not afford cancer treatment if cancer was found. So I did nothing.

Finally, on November 31, 2016, five days after my 60th birthday, I was able to have my CEA marker tested again. It had climbed to 217 ng/ml! My eventual diagnosis -- the cancer had spread to my liver. I was given a diagnosis of Stage IV-A metastatic colorectal cancer and told I would not survive to the end of the year unless I agreed to a regimen of FULFOX, surgery, and more FULFOX.

My initial reaction was shock and numb. Then I got depressed. Then I got angry.

Then I decided to develop an Attitude of Gratitude.

An Attitude of Gratitude is not about religion, although it can be. An Attitude of Gratitude is not a self-help exercise, although it can be. An Attitude of Gratitude is not an escape from a cancer diagnosis, although it can be.

There has been a ton of research of the psychological and physical healing affects of an Attitude of Gratitude. Want to know what science has to say about an Attitude of Gratitude? Click here to read The Science of Gratitude: More Benefits Than Expected; 26 Studies and Counting. 

What the research revealed is that people who develop an Attitude of Gratitude report increased feelings of happiness. The Benefits of Gratitude can affect all areas of your life, for example:

• Emotional Benefits: feeling good more often, feeling more relaxed, feeling for resilient, feeling strong in the face of difficulties, feeling less envious. 

• Health Benefits: improved sleep, feeling less sick, having increased energy, participating in more exercise, longevity

• Personality Benefits: feeling more optimistic, feeling more spiritual, increased feelings of self-esteem, feeling less self-centered, feeling less materialistic, feeling less like a victim, feeling more empowered

• Social Benefits: feeling kinder, able to develop emotionally deeper relationships, feeling more social, feeling more friendly

Overall, an Attitude of Gratitude is strongly correlated with optimism. When we focus on what's good in life, we tend to focus less on what's bad. Positive emotion improves health. Improved health improves the mind. Improved health means we can recover faster from certain medical procedures, we can experience positive changes in how our immune system functions, and we will develop more positive health behaviors. Developing a positive outlook on life greatly increases our chances for survival and cancer remission -- no matter what stage of cancer we have been diagnosed with.

In summary, science has discovered that when a person develops an Attitude of Gratitude they experience a very real healing effect, both physically and psychologically. Some of this effect can be measured biochemically, while other aspects are beyond scientific measurement. But the bottom line is irrefutable: Expressing gratitude initiates a powerful healing effect in your own mind and body.

Can't think of anything to be grateful for? Here are some suggestions:

• Be grateful for your health. Even with a cancer diagnosis, you are still here, you still have options --  be thankful for the health you have and hopeful for remission.

• Be grateful for your family and friends, and the big and little things they do to help you through your cancer diagnosis, healing, and recovery.

• Be grateful for your intelligence, consciousness and awareness -- take control of your recovery, research what your oncologist tells you and decide whether or not that works for you!

• Be grateful for the weather -- a sunny day, a day with a snowstorm and you're snuggled in front of a fire, the sound of rain on your roof or against your window, a gloomy day giving you the chance for long naps and rest.

• Be grateful for your food -- learn about the benefits of a 100% organic diet and cancer-fighting foods that can help ensure your recovery.

• Be grateful for your job, your health insurance, or anything that helps you face the financial burdens that comes with a diagnosis of cancer.

• Be grateful for any spiritual awakening that comes as a result of the cancer diagnosis.

• Be grateful for your fur babies, or any other pet -- they often sense what we are going through and can be a great source of comfort and hope.

My Attitude of Gratitude practice takes about 5-10 minutes at the end of the day. I get comfortable in bed with my three fur babies alongside me. I take out my Gratitude Journal, and I write down at least five things I'm thankful for. This involves reviewing the day, and thinking about even the smallest things -- like hearing and seeing the first Cardinal of spring; that my snow blower started on the first pull (very important since I'm right handed and my chemo port is implanted in my right shoulder); that my friend, Jane, surprised me with a batch of her fabulous homemade tomato sauce; that my new kitten climbed up on my lap and covered my face with kitty kisses. 

Here are some of the things I have been grateful for, even with a diagnosis of Stage IV-A metastatic colorectal cancer, after five years cancer free:

• For Waseda Farms organic chicken breasts (yum, yum!!!)

• That I was able to run errands while on the chemo pack; that's a first!

• That I was able to walk Dexter today, but will probably need help tomorrow when temps plummet and snow arrives; Jan has already offered to walk Dexter.

• That I am not as fatigued from the chemo this time. That 20% reduction helped!

• That the snow blower started right up (it never has before in the 10 years I've owned it) and I was able to clear my property of 6" of snow in about 15 minutes.

• For chia seed pudding and Jasmine rice to calm my nausea.

• For sunshine in the afternoon.

• For a phone call from Sharon.

• That Dexter went outside and pooped on his own so I didn't need to walk him in the cold.

• My CEA score is 44.7! My tumor is disappearing! I am healing!

• That I was able to get a doctor's appointment for tomorrow afternoon to treat my bleeding bottom.

• For a nice, long walk outside with Dexter -- sunny skies and warmer temps, our first chance for a walk in several days.

• For medicine, non-steroid medicine for my chemo burned and bleeding private parts.

• For my RAV-4 and for my mechanic, Vic, who keeps it in good running condition.

• For finding the Mind Over Medicine website and Dr. Lisa Rankins' The Self-Healing Kit.

• That whatever made me sick the last two hours has passed. Oh, so, so sick!

• For a beautiful snowy day -- the white powder looks so pretty.

• For watching Dexter run around in the snow and enjoying himself.

• For my Mother Mary Oracle Cards and the messages I received this weekend.

• For all the excitement from Dexter and the kitties when I arrived home (after three days gone) ~ they really missed me!

• For a safe journey to and from the Christine Center, nearly three hours each way from my home.

You can see my gratitude list is varied -- sometimes it's something small, sometimes it's something big, sometimes it's something silly, sometimes it's something very serious. It doesn't matter what you are grateful for. What is important is that any amount of thankfulness you can cultivate will have a positive effect on your health, your emotional well-being, and on your life. I have found that after I have perused the day for ways to express my gratitude and written my list, I am able to forget about the cancer, settle in to my comfy bed and pretty much sleep soundly until morning.

I encourage you to develop an Attitude of Gratitude, even with a cancer diagnosis -- the benefits are precious, priceless, and undeniable.

Thankfulness is a prominent Bible theme. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Christians are called to give thanks in all circumstances. Thankfulness should be a way of life, naturally flowing from our hearts and mouths.

Let us come before Him with thanksgiving and extol Him with music and song. For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. Psalm 95:2-3

The Hebrew term for gratitude is hakarat hatov, which means, literally, "recognizing the good." Practicing gratitude means recognizing the good that is already yours.

Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity. In pleasure or pain, give thanks!  Judaism. Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.20

In Islam, the first chapter of the Quran starts with ‘Alhamdulillah’ which is generally translated as “all praise is for God.” For Muslins (and Arabic-speaking Christians and Jews), the word Alhamdulillah signifies gratitude in our everyday lives. Hence, when someone asks how we are, Muslim often respond with, “Alhamdulillah.” Similarly, Islam teaches followers to be thankful throughout the day: for waking up from sleep, after eating meals, drinking water, etc. In this way, one’s entire life revolves around gratitude to God. (Something interesting -- the English word Alleluia has its roots in Alhamdulillah.)

It is God who has made for you the earth as a resting place, and the sky as a canopy, and has given you shape--and made your shapes beautiful--and has provided for you sustenance of things pure and good; such is God, your Lord. So glory to God, the Lord of the Worlds! Islam. Qur'an 40.61, 64

In the Buddhist tradition, practicing mindfulness of gratitude consistently leads to a direct experience of being connected to life and the realization that there is a larger context in which your personal story is unfolding.  DharmaWiscom: Selfless Gratitude.

The unworthy man is ungrateful, forgetful of benefits [done to him]. This ingratitude, this forgetfulness is congenial to mean people... But the worthy person is grateful and mindful of benefits done to him. This gratitude, this mindfulness, is congenial to the best people. Buddhism. Anguttara Nikaya i.61